Didn't see that coming

When I was thinking what my next post would be about, this topic was not the original plan. However, in light of recent news and headlines, I felt that I wanted to share my perspective because it is my blog after all, so that is kind of the point of this whole thing...

I want to start by making it immediately clear that I do not consider myself to be political whatsoever, so this post is not coming from a place of a Republican or Democrat trying to sway you one way or the other. I could care less which side you identify as when it comes to politics. I also want to state that I feel that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs when it comes to things such as politics, religion and what they feel is right and wrong. You may not agree with the stance I have on this topic. You may feel that it is a gray area where some situations should be looked at differently than others. We aren't going to hash all of that out here. I am also wildly aware that if you have a strong opinion on the subject, it is likely not going to be changed by reading this post.

With all of that being said, the title of my entire blog is Choosing Childfree, with a major emphasis on the word "choosing" which implies that I made the choice to live this lifestyle. I was not pressured or forced to not have children, and in fact there was nothing medically stopping me (that I know of) from having a baby. I have just never tried because I did not care to go down that path personally. I have never been pregnant and therefore have never been at a crossroads of "what now?"

Choice by definition is, "an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities"

I can not even begin to understand some of the situations and circumstances that pregnant women may find themselves in. Circumstances such as being told their baby is incompatible with life, rape, incest, abusive relationships, drug use, teen pregnancy, being homeless, poor or mentally ill- just to name a few. Who am I to judge, shame or even criminalize someone when I have no idea what they are going through?! I just can't wrap my head around this!

I also want to go on record and say, even if there is no circumstance at all- why do we have any say regarding what decision someone else makes? It impacts THEIR life, not ours!

To me- that right there is what is so upsetting about the decision made by the Supreme Court last Friday. That they are taking CHOICE away from many women. To me, choice is a basic human right. Each person makes choices every single day, it is part of life. I have no control over the choices you make for yourself, just like you have no control over mine. Or shouldn't rather...

This is a concept that I wish more people would understand: "Just because I think something is right or wrong does not make it so, and does not mean that everyone else should adhere to it" Essentially translated to, if you don't believe in abortion and would never have one, then don't! However, that doesn't mean that this is the right option for everyone else.

You see, I mentioned in a prior post that my background is women's health in the nursing field so this is a hot button for me. I have encountered many situations in which women have had to make difficult choices for themselves. And my job wasn't to judge them for their choice. It was to be there to support them and make sure that they were safe and being taken care of medically. I am truly saddened to know that many women will no longer have the freedom to make a choice or decision about their body. Something as personal and intimate as birthing a child and becoming a mother is no longer up to them, despite the situation or circumstance that led to that outcome.

And I know what the argument is from a lot of people, "well if they don't want the child, they can give it up for adoption" and I hear you. But do you know how flooded the system already is with children right now that still need to be adopted and aren't yet? US Adoption Statistics state that, "Of the over 400,000 children in foster care in the U.S., 114,556 cannot be returned to their families and are waiting to be adopted" and also that, "Although no more than 2% of Americans have actually adopted, more than 1/3 have considered it" (https://adoptionnetwork.com/adoption-myths-facts/domestic-us-statistics/)

While it is great that 1/3 of Americans have considered adopting, considering it doesn't put these children in loving homes... so my question is- who is going to raise these children? Who is going to financially be responsible for these children? How many of these children are actually going to end up in safe and loving homes? As we all know, the price of everything continues to skyrocket, so I have a very hard time believing that many families are even capable in regards to finances and resources to care for an additional child right now.

I am not saying that kids in foster care don't matter or that their lives don't mean anything. That is not what I am getting at here. My whole point is that forcing women to give birth is not going to fix all of the world's problems. I personally don't care what the situation is, if a woman does not want to be a mother, she should not be required to be one. Point blank. And I hate to say it, but making abortion illegal is NOT going to stop abortions from happening. It is going to mean that they are not as safe or accessible which could have a detrimental effect on the health and lives of many women.

I can't take credit for this, but I saw a meme that really stopped me in my tracks:

"Forced birth in a country with no universal healthcare, no universal childcare, no paid family and medical leave, one of the highest rates of maternal mortality among rich nations. This isn't about life. It's about control" Think about that...here in the United States there are women who literally have to pay crazy insane amounts to give birth. If they are lucky, they work somewhere that provides some type of paid maternity leave. There is a nationwide formula shortage going on and oh by the way, there is a lack of resources and assistance to help them raise that child for the next 18 years. America has to do better and be better if it is now a so called morally right and "pro-life" country. Who wins in this system? I truly don't know. If we do not even own our bodies, what is ours?

What I do know is that I will always support women's rights for choice and for safe healthcare. I firmly believe that you should be able to decide what is best for YOU. I feel that this decision was a huge step backwards to a time in which our mothers and grandmothers had more rights than we do today as women. And although I don't have any children of my own, I can imagine that most parents would want their kids to have MORE rights and freedom, not less.

I want to share this quote in closing by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, "The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman's life, to her well-being and dignity. It is a decision she must make for herself. When the government controls that decision for her, she is being treated as less than a full adult human responsible for her own choices."

If you are unsure about your specific state and the legality of an abortion, here is a resource: https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/abortion-access-tool/US

Pro-choice

Pro-women's health

Pro-medical safety

Pro-do whatever is best for you

-Holly